Monday, August 1, 2016

And Now, The Voices In My Head

            I’m pretty sure it’s the late summer heat. At any rate, for this blog post, I decided to take a stab at the collection of voices that no doubt influence my writing process. It wasn’t easy. Most of them just hunkered down in my subconscious and phoned in their displeasure, but I finally brought up a small list of mental culprits for your consideration.
            (I also recommend trying something like this as a short personal writing challenge.)

Idea Man: Hiro, Big Hero 6 movie
            “No! Ideas! Stupid—empty—head!”

Plot Developer: Yzma, The Emperor’s New Groove movie
            “How shall I do it? Ohh, I know…I’ll turn him into a flea! A harmless little flea. And then I’ll put that flea in a box, then I’ll put that box inside of another box, then I’ll mail that box to myself! And when it arrives, AH HA HA I’ll SMASH it with a HAMMER!”

Plot Editor: Still Yzma
            “Or, to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this!

Plot Complications: Puddleglum, The Silver Chair book
            “It stands to reason we’re not likely to get very far on a journey to the North, not at this time of year, with the winter coming on soon and all. And an early winter too, by the look of things. But you mustn’t let that make you downhearted. Very likely, what with enemies, and mountains, and rivers to cross, and losing our way, and next to nothing to eat, and sore feet, we’ll hardly notice the weather. And if we don’t get far enough to do any good, we may get far enough not to get back in a hurry.”

Dialogue Writers: Megamind and Minion, Megamind movie
            “Well, good luck on your date!”
            “I will!”
            “That doesn’t even make any sense!”
            “I know!”

Stunt Director: The General, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator book
            “Let's blow them up first, crash bang wallop bang-bang-bang-bang. [...] Come on, Mr P., [...] Let's have some really super-duper explosions!”

Romance Director: Han Solo, Star Wars VII movie
            “Escape now. Hug later.”

Self-Biographer: Garfield, from his own comic strip
            “As the handsome cat gazed on the folly of life about him, he threw back his head in laughter, ha! ha! ha!
            “And then he fell right off his chair.”

Feedback Reviewer: Cave Johnson, Portal 2 video game
            “The lab boys are telling me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They say I oughta stop making these prerecorded messages. That gave me an idea—Make more prerecorded messages! I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day!”

Motivational Voice: Ishmael, Moby-Dick book
             “For my part, I abominate all honourable respectable toils, trials, and tribulations of every kind whatsoever."

1 comment:

  1. I am pretty sure you just listed the voices of 90% of all creative content makers. And the other 10% are those inhuman machines pumping out best sellers every weekend who we all secretly want to be or throw into a hole.