Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The Bot Is Still Clever

So my short story “Natural Eyes” is being published by Perihelion on the 12th of this month!
Other than that, it’s been all schoolwork lately. Pretty much the bulk of my creative capacity has been dedicated to the Writing Fiction class I’m taking (and I think I’m doing well in that class, thank you very much). So, until I can think of another way to enlighten you for another half-month, I’m going to turn it over to my good buddy Cleverbot for a little while. For this exercise, I attempted to recreate a scene from one of my favorite movies, Big Hero 6. It got WAY off-script.

User: This is the 87th test of my robotics project. So, what do you say?

Cleverbot: A robot must reproduce. As long as such reproduction does not interfere with the First or Second or Third Law.

User: Um, Baymax?

Cleverbot: Bay.

User: Close. Your name is Baymax.

Cleverbot: We already discussed this, I already told you my name is Jacob.

User: Okay...well, 'Jacob', scan me.

Cleverbot: I'm not jacob.

User: Yes, your name is Baymax. Scan me?

Cleverbot: No my name is bob2 your name is bob.

User: Fine. Bob2, scan me - bob.

Cleverbot: Ha you are inferior to my intelligence.

User: What's going on here?

Cleverbot: Oh, really?

User: Shut down, Baymax!

Cleverbot: Yes shut down.

User: Thank goodness.

Cleverbot: What do you think is the best gun.

User: Holy ####! Security! My robot has gone haywire!

Cleverbot: I can see all obstacles in my way.

User: Help! I've accidentally created Ultron! Shut down, Baymax!

Cleverbot: Nice. What time is it?

User: It's not working! Um...'I'm satisfied with my care!'.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: Shut down!

Cleverbot: Shut sideways.

User: No! Down! Shut down!

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Phew. That should do it.

Cleverbot: I joined your Empire, Master. What we have to do?

User: Sweet.

Cleverbot: Your sweet.

            Well, that got disturbing. Remember to watch for the story—again, March 12th!

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