A "Contagion" of Adverbs

I got enough time last month to read Contagion by Erin Bowman, so to kick off March, here's my review of the book. But let me get one thing straight before I get started here: I hate criticizing books. I'd rather praise a book to the skies than tear it a new one.

Now that I've said that, I can feel you all bracing for the start of my ranting. Well, de-brace yourselves. Contagion is actually a pretty OK book. I think I ruined it for myself.

Here's the one-sentence synopsis: a skeleton crew gets sent to investigate a distress signal on a desolate planet, uncovering a horrible force that threatens everyone--all throughout the universe. There are two main characters: Thea, a scientist's intern, and Nova, a young pilot. FYI, they're both girls; Nova also has lesbian tendencies, if that sweetens the pot for anyone. The reason I say that I ruined this book for myself is simple: I've watched the 1979 movie Alien and played the game
System Shock 2. It was hard to feel surprised when I've seen it all happen before, and Contagion didn't deviate a whole lot from the (minor spoiler alert) alien zombies in space sci-fi theme.

Even so, I have to say the book felt pretty well paced. Unlike a lot of stories I've observed lately, it has a solid beginning, middle, and climactic end. I contrast this plot arc with the movie Alita: Battle Angel; I saw it recently, and while I believe it is an excellent, kick@$$ movie that succeeds where Scarlett Johansson's Ghost in the Shell failed, I also have to admit I couldn't tell where the climax was supposed to be. The edge of one's seat is a terrible thing to waste, and I don't commit to the hallowed seat-edge until I know that everything I've seen has been leading up to this point and $#!* is about to go down.

Contagion does better in that regard. I can legitimately say I was compelled to keep turning pages when the discernable final act reared its head. However...

(Yep, the ripping-a-new-one is about to begin...)

...I wasn't turning pages because I was concerned about anyone.

Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted, envious sociopath, but I didn't click with anyone on the main or secondary character roster. The skeleton crew was composed of the two main characters, a secretive scientist, an a-hole military captain, and three guys. That's about all you can say about them. I felt no concern when (another minor spoiler alert) the three guys started dropping off the radar--even though there was one who had a family back on his planet of origin. I swear nobody cracked a good joke, even a nervous one. They had but the faintest of personality traits that never really shone. The military person--a woman, for what it's worth--was so much of a hardheaded a-hole that I couldn't give her credit when she displayed the occasional sign of character development.

The main characters? If it weren't for their backstories, their personalities were interchangeable--and they reeked of the stereotypical Strong Female Lead. Alita, in the movie that bears her name, at least has some childlike innocence and growth to back up the bad@$$ery. Thea and Nova just have a case of mild determination. People who are after a strong lesbian lead will want to look elsewhere, too; it seemed like Nova's sexual inclination was more thrown in there to uncork the drool taps in agents' and publishers' mouths. I've had this concern that the "Please please send us LGBTQ+ manuscripts" in publishers' wishlists has led to a lack of just scrutiny on their part, and Contagion hasn't really weakened that theory.

On that note, we come to the writing. To be honest, it's Stephen King's worst nightmare, if he has those. We're told as writers to avoid the adverb--especially in Stephen King's book On Writing--but in Contagion, they were...um...contagious. The subject-verb-adverb chain was all over the place ("...he ran quickly...", "...she said spontaneously...", "...it roared incoherently..."), and once, on page 188, I hit a double adverb: "...the ride was momentarily blessedly smooth." There were also a horde of writer sin words: "began", "started", "suddenly", "now", and so on. They were all over the place. I can remember another area where I remember such other horrors occurring:

My writing. Specifically, my writing when I was first learning to write fiction well.

I used those words all the time, and I expended a lot of energy over my years-of-my-manuscripts-not-being-published to smooth out those warps. I'm still coming across them as I edit for the umpteenth time (and believe me, I erased/replaced/reworded a bunch of them while doing some edits this morning). At least I have the "I'm a new-ish writer" excuse, but Bowman has no such defense. She'd had other books published before, and I'm not so sure I want to read another--even the eventual sequel to Contagion. Oh, and another spoiler alert: it ends on a sort-of cliffhanger.

Ultimately, I believe Contagion is a good story; I like both Alien and System Shock 2, after all. The things that trip it up the most are the nondescript characters and the fact that it reads like a manuscript that was edited once, maybe twice, before the publisher thrust it onto the shelves. I would read this book again if Bowman sat on it some more, reworked it, and dear heaven please removed those bales of adverbs and filter words.

It's the universe's only hope.

A Novel Idea

Happy couple-of-days-after-Valentine's-Day! Now that I've shared with you my wealth of knowledge concerning romance writing, I thought we could briefly cover a different, less romantic subject: editing.

See, I am now convinced that the best way to edit your book is to first write a completely different book.

I've heard this advice before, and like I am with all difficult-sounding writing things, I was skeptical at first. I already had a manuscript series I was working on, and doesn't that count as multiple books already? But then I got wrapped up in NaNoWriMo and ended up finishing a new and wholly original story, and I have since set it aside to ferment before I go back in for those second-draft edits. I just hope that manuscript ferments more like beer and less like mold, that's all I can say.

I can't stop writing while that's going on, though, and I don't count all the writing I have to do as a journalist*. Therefore, I decided to go back and edit the second book of a trilogy-ish thing I wrote. Second books are like the middle children of a book series; we know they're there, but I think we don't expect too much of them, and as long as they aren't causing any trouble, we leave them alone.

How are those edits going, you ask?

Let me put it this way: I think the book had about 69,000 words when I first re-opened it. Now it's pushing 74,000. When I had to write the completely original NaNoWriMo book, I needed to describe a whole new world from scratch, something I hadn't done in a while. Thanks to all the writing and critical reading I'd done since I became a writer, I had plenty of experience to make that happen.

Then I noticed my second-book-in-the-series needed a serious descriptive overhaul, amongst its many other edit-able details. I realize this inflating word count sort of flies in the face of Stephen King's "On Writing" book--he advises cutting back on words whenever possible--but I don't mind yet. I think of it as similar to building a snowman: if the snowman is too small, you need to pack more snow on it before making it more smooth and compact.

There you have it; that's why I recommend writing something completely different before editing a manuscript. If nothing else...well, you have my opinion on snowman-building.

Bye for now.


*Final side note: OK, I do count the editorials I write as legit ("fun") writing. That's right--my newspaper gave me my own editorial column. Maybe I'll tell you about it someday, but in the meantime, know that it keeps our readership VERY entertained.

Romance Writing Tips!

Happy February! In honor of the romantic holiday coming up in a couple weeks, I thought I'd share with all of you my tips for writing hot, steamy romance novels.

...

And there you are.

Have a great Valentine's Day, everyone.

Post-Manuscript FAQ

YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY—

Oh hello. Sorry, I was just celebrating. After two-and-a-half months and a little over 91,000 words, the first draft of my latest YA/sci-fi manuscript is complete! The seed that started as a foray into NaNoWriMo has blossomed into a massive, slightly ugly flower that still has a few more inches to grow.

If it’s any help at all, here is an FAQ I’ve put together so you know my post-manuscript plans. I call them FAQs even though nobody has actually FA’d these Qs of me, really. Oh well. Maybe they can provide some guidance into your own post-mortem—*ahem*, I mean post-novel plans.

·       What’s the title?: I’m not telling you yet. Just know that it is a legit, kick-*** title that I had from Day 1; it was the first word I wrote on the document, and it has stayed unchanged since. I will tell you, though, that the title is NOT:

o   “Another Young Adult Science Fiction Book”

o   “Taserface”

o   “Reflections on Bronte’s ‘Wuthering Heights’”

o   “Reflections on How I Can’t Tell the Bronte Sisters Apart”

o   “Marshmallows”

·       What’s the genre?: Dude, I told you at the beginning of this post. It’s YA sci-fi.

·       Then why is it so long? I thought most YA books were shorter than 91,000 words.: BECAUSE THE STORY IDEA SEEMED SHORTER IN MY HEAD, OK??? I’ll try to cut back in revisions, but I make no guarantees.

·       What’s the plot and setting?: Sorry, I’m a little cagey about those things as well—at least at this stage.

·       Was it inspired by the Hunger Games?: NO. Now go sit in your corner and stop accusing me of such horrible things.

·       Was it inspired by Twilight?: NO! Go to the corner where I left the “Hunger Games” person, who is now free to leave now that you’ve spoken such blasphemy. Besides, that’s fantasy/romance/YA garbage! What gave you the idea I’d go for that?

·       Did you know the whole plot when you sat down to write it?: Yes. No. Sort of. I knew enough of the plot to know how to begin, and I knew how I wanted the story to end, but I’ll admit some stuff shuffled around and changed in the middle as I got writing. I like writing non-set stories; it gives me a little creative wiggle room—and helps me dodge any sticky plot points.

·       What computer did you use?: I wrote a lot of my manuscript during breaks at work, so…*sigh*…it was an Apple. Now I’m a die-hard Windows/Dell fan, but I write for a living anyway (journalist), and writing my manuscript over breaks helped me stay sharp.

·       What’s the last word in the manuscript?: You mean, aside from the word “END” that signals the termination of the story?

·       Duh!: “Gate.”

·       What was your regimen while writing it?: During NaNoWriMo, I wrote 2000 words a day—got me to 50,000 words about a week before November ended. After that, I toned it down to 1000 words a day. Hey, I write a LOT for a living. Yeah, yeah, if you do the math, I missed or under-wrote for a few days after November. I have excuses for those days, a lot of them I can’t remember (aside from the one where I got engaged that day).

·       What are your plans now?: I’m going to hide my manuscript draft under a pillow and not think about it for a month or so. Maybe between now and then, I’ll edit another of my manuscripts or write a short story or something. Heaven knows it’s been a while since I’ve written a short story. (Really, 91,000 words! I’ve never written a story that long before! What happened?) Maybe I’ll just play some Halo. Maybe I’ll do all of the above. After that, then I’ll go through it with my fine-toothed comb that’s missing a few teeth.

·       What are you most looking forward to in your revisions?: I hope I wrote a lot of cool stuff in there that I can find again. I love the (rare) feeling of coming across something you wrote that gave you the creepy fuzzies—which you forgot, so you get to have that feeling all over again. I also haven’t divided the book into chapters yet, so that’ll be fun.

·       What are you least looking forward to in your revisions?: Finding the MANY, MANY ERRORS that necessarily lurk within the pages. I’ve found so many by just glancing back at previous chapters, especially within the first 50,000 words from NaNoWriMo when I was writing at full speed…then there are the creative (a.k.a. “made-up”) words that I know have switched-around letters or changed spellings halfway through…hoo boy, I’ll be trying not to think about those for the next month-ish.

·       What are your feelings about the manuscript and story overall?: AAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! YAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!...

·       Sorry I asked. That’s not a question. Go to the corner.

Rhyming Resolutions

(And a-one, and a-two...)

Greetings, salutations, and happy New Year!

Blessings on writers, all ye far and near.

Time to steel our resolve to make some improvements

And better ourselves and give vices some new dents.

Therefore, here's a taste of my "should"-s and my "can't"-s:

Let's start with my first: write these posts in advance!

Do not see my problem? You'll see what I mean,

When I say THIS was written in 2019.

I've got more for my writing. I need to complete

My latest work-in-progress; the concept is neat,

And I think it's a fun read with elements real.

That leads to the next one: I'd like a book deal.

I resolve to attempt this as calendars change,

But thanks to rejections, my plans rearrange.

Oh well--I'll keep trying. Maybe someday you'll see,

A YA sci-fi book that's written by me!

Also, my short stories have been left aside,

But my wanting-to-write-them has never quite died.

Who knows? With my manuscript near it's last station,

A string of short stories makes a nice vacation.

In non-writing areas, I need to be getting

Myself ready for my eventual wedding.

Read my last post if you don't understand

That I'm quite excited for my future at hand.

So now that I'm done with New Year's resolutions,

I think we can draw some surprising conclusions:

If I need a blog post and am short on time,

My best strategy is some rambling rhyme.


Happy New Year!

Now I'm outta here.

Christmas Updates

Hey all! It's been a busy season over here, so this post is going to just be some catching-up. If you are desperate for a book recommendation, though, here you go:

Read The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud. It's a freakin' good book, but it is a part of the Disney empire, so it's only a matter of time before it's turned into a watered-down movie. You'd best read it now while it still has its innocence.

OK, on to the updates:

First, I am an engaged man! I have a good job that's making money slightly faster than I can spend it, so I proposed to my college sweetheart and we're looking at late-summer wedding dates. This may come up later; when one of my posts here says "Just married" and that's all, you'll know what's up.

Second, my NaNoWriMo project is still going strong; as I'm writing this (on December 15), it's around 65,000 words long, and there's plenty of story to go. Odds are it'll be about 75,000 - 80,000 words long, and I can't wait until it's finished and reworked to death so I can start submitting it places--it is, in my humble opinion, one heck of a story.

The writing of this book was hampered, though, when my 5ish-year-old laptop finally bit the dust after years of (two-way) abuse. Thank heavens I obsessively back up all my writing stuff, or today's post might be a string of un-Christmasy cuss words. However, this new machine is quite wonderful. Thanks to its non-ancient technology, Subnautica has never looked so gorgeous. I weep tears of joy whenever a sea serpent swallows my submarine in non-laggy gloriousness.

Finally, I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. May you receive all that you lawfully desire, including the one wish you never knew you had...

That's right. May you get your own you-centric version of that in-praise-of-Gaston song from Beauty and the Beast. Let's start right now:

"NO...ONE..."

NaNoWriMo; My Assessment

Today’s blog text format is brought to you by somebody who, for once, has written his blog post ahead of time and not directly onto his website. There is a good reason why I am able to write this post in advance, too: see, I completed NaNoWriMo.

That’s right. My new work-in-progress YA novel passed 50,000 words on Sunday, November 25, exactly one month before Christmas. Whether that’s significant or not, I don’t know, but it does feel like a gift to not have to bend my schedules, making them fit my lengthy 2000-words-per-day sessions around my heaven-knows-how-many-words-I’m-writing-for-the-newspaper-already job.

My regimen paid off, though (and it turns out I can cram in about 500 words of fiction writing during lunch breaks). So, now that I’m here on the other side of the month’s writing marathon, I expect some of you are wondering what my thoughts are about this whole NaNoWriMo lark, not that any of you have asked.

Well…for me, it was near-equal parts hate and love, to be honest.

Let’s start with the hate.

Last year I complained about being a slow writer. Today, on the other side of 50,000 words, that still holds true—and that’s even when I’m biting back my impulse to look over previous paragraphs to get a feel for where I am, to correct typos, to rearrange…everything, et cetera. It took effort to plunk myself down in my chair, merely glance at my last sentence, and hammer away at the keyboard straight from there. You can’t build up momentum; you have to take off sprinting from the start line, and I like to pause and think of exactly how I’m going to scale the next hill. At the end of it all, I’m still quite the pause-and-carefully-consider-the-next-sentence kind of writer. I make Flash the sloth from the movie “Zootopia” look like a court stenographer on some days.

But—and here we transfer over to the stuff I like—there were days when the story just flew along.

I loved those days. I can think of two in particular where I had such writing momentum going that I overshot my daily writing goal by 500 words each day. (In the spirit of Andy Weir’s book “The Martian”, I’m changing the term “words per day” to “Doom-iguanas”, and I don’t care if it’s hardly shorter.) Anyway, those two days gave me a nice 1000-word cushion I held all the way until the last two days of my 50,000-word stretch—the busy Thanksgiving weekend. Even though I dropped back to 1500 Doom-iguanas, I finished five days early. Now I’m writing this.

I’m continuing to write my NaNoWriMo project; turns out I might actually have a good concept here, and I’m still engaged with everybody in the story. It’s soft sci-fi (I think), but it has its wonderfully nerdy moments when it’s really hard for me to remember that 20 pages of straight expositing can be dull. My Evil Notebook of Writing has pages and pages dedicated to plot details, worldbuilding notes, and other stuff I don’t want to forget.

I love the story I’ve kicked into gear, and I plan to write it all the way through—even though I’ve dropped back to 1000 Doom-iguanas now. And that’s the big reason I’m grateful to NaNoWriMo: it gave me a reason to write the novel. I’d had the book’s concept stewing in my head for a while (since July 29, 2017, to be exact—I wrote it down in that Evil Notebook of Writing), and it was great to have an excuse to get the idea up off its couch and make itself useful. After all, I wrote my first manuscript when I told myself, “Hey, you’ve got some free time; why not write that book idea you have?” This time, I told myself, “Hey, you haven’t done this writer’s rite of passage yet; why not use that other book idea you have?”

Let me tell you, this trip reminded me how much fun it is to work on an original story.

To conclude, will I do this again next year?

…Maybe. Maybe not. With this under my belt, I believe I have the right to excuse myself on the grounds being a NaNoWriMo veteran—with only one tour of service, but that’s still something.

On the other hand, another story idea might pop up. We’ll see.

Now I’ve got to get back to writing.